


I Want to go to the Sea

by AutumnBluE



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:18:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22100125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnBluE/pseuds/AutumnBluE
Summary: The war has finally ended, and Levi is living the peaceful life he's always wanted with Eren. But a strange discovery makes him question the reality he's living.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Kudos: 33





	I Want to go to the Sea

**Author's Note:**

> Had this saved in my computer for a year or something, so I thought I'd share. Hope you like it :)

Silence held across the rain-matted field for the first time in decades. Men and women no longer cried in the bitter air, their wires and nimble bodies twisting and their blades ripping through skin. A rain of red water pattering on the grass. But there wasn’t. The ground should have been shaking like God had decided that the land was being abused long enough, wanting to nurture it in His palm by removing it root by root from the bloodied planet. No, it wasn’t that either. Birds were silent and trees stood still. Thousands of green-cloaked soldiers stood. Many had torn limbs and slashed skin, yet hobbled to their feet as a smile that rivalled any sunrise spat like fire between them all.

“The Titans have fallen. Humanity has won!”

And then a chorus of voices hailed the air. Not all were beautiful. Some were ragged and coughed profusely in their wearied states. But the buoyant feeling, impossible to put into words, put them into a frenzy that had them in varying states; crying with relief, laughing with joy, and sitting-dazed-at the mere thought of managing to have survived the worst feat against humanity. They survived. Humanity survived.

But the final one they killed wasn’t a Titan. The death that they celebrate now that occurred moments prior was not one some few were celebrating.

Hange stared for a moment at the grass. The wet grass. It was strange, she thought. This was something that she had been working towards for countless years. So why isn’t she happy? It took her a moment to understand why, and when she did, she reluctantly turned her gaze to her friend. Specks of dirt clinging to his cravat and an expression Hange wouldn’t soon forget.

….

“I’ve always wanted to see the ocean, you know?”

“Yes, you’ve mentioned that before, brat.”

“Ahh, but I can’t help it. I’ve only seen it once. Once! That’s not nearly enough!”

Levi sighed, closing his book. He directed a cold glare at the end of the couch. “And what do you want me to do? Move from my spot to go to a disgusting place with disgusting, snotty little fuckers running about?”

“I doubt many kids would be there. And you’re completely missing the point. Believe me, if it was like that then I wouldn’t have ever wanted to go.”

“Well, I wouldn’t ever want to go,” Levi said, bouncing onto his feat. He moved into the kitchen to prepare some tea. 

“Come on! It’s so pretty there! What have you got to be afraid of, I’m-Humanity’s-Strongest-Captain-French-Guy?”

“…”

“Don’t make me beg.”

“You’re begging for attention now. I don’t see a difference.”

“But I’ll make it worth your while.”

“I don’t see how going it would be a valued experience. While you’d be running off into the filthy water which, by the way, I know for a fact that fuckers piss in-I will be hiding in a coffee shop that smells like rotten fish to avoid shitting seagulls,” Levi turned with his scolding cup in his hand. 

He raised a brow expectantly. “Would you like me to continue?”

“Right. I forgot that you’re the overlord of cleanliness.”

“Damn right.”

Levi was staring at his cup for a moment, staring down at the shadow at the bottom of it. He revelled in the calming scent of his tea, taking a sip despite it slightly scalding the inside of his mouth. But he didn’t care. He felt shakes rack his body again and needed the tea to help him settle down. He didn’t want Eren to see.

“Hey, Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you miss me?”

Levi looked up, confused. “What do you mean?”

“I-well, it’s been twenty-four years now. I was just wondering if you think about me at all.”

It was strange for him to ask these kinds of questions. They’d been living together since the end of the war, and sure, the brat had his moments, but it was fine. Did he ask things like this before? 

“We’re married, brat. If I didn’t give a shit about you I’d let you know,” Levi muttered. But seeing his sad expression, mourning almost, made Levi’s jittery hands shake all the more. He carefully placed his teacup on the bench. 

“I will always love you. You know that, right?”

Levi nodded. 

“Good. Then I’m going to the beach, now. I’ll see you when you get there, alright?” And before Levi could react, the boy was running to the door.

“Hey, stop. Stop!” Levi was now sprinting round the corner of the door. He heard the backdoor slam shut. He didn’t know why he was panicking or why he was so scared to let Eren go. Actually, scared wasn’t the word. Petrified. A coldness settled in his chest that refused to leave, stagnating  
and sitting there like a heavy block of arctic ice.

“Eren!” He opened the door outside.

But he wasn’t expecting to see this.

“What the fuck?”

I was a metal wall. Nothing. No outside. Just a plain metal wall, smooth and without nails.

In the back right corner of the hallway was a camera, so small that it wouldn’t be perceptible without a strong lense of sorts. In the room outside the House, as they called it, were two figures. Their white coats seeming as pale as the cigarette smoke billowing from Mikasa’s chapped lips.

Before Mikasa could say a word, however, Hange snarled. “He is our Captain. One word more from you and I’ll have you reassigned.”

“Look, I don’t want to admit it either, Doc, but he’s gone. There’s nothing we can do. All the House is doing for him is making him more insane.”

“He went mad the moment Eren was killed. He wasn’t going to make it if we just let him roam around. He’d inevitably try to throw himself off some cliff or something. Maybe even go after someone. This was the only thing we could do for him.”

“And making him think that Eren’s still alive? You don’t think that’s cruel?”

Hange shook her head. She stared through the camera at the man she called Captain. Or, he at least used to be ‘Captain’.

Levi was still staring at the metal wall, all sense and logic bombarding his brain. It hurt. Gasping, he clutched his head, falling to the floor as he bit on his tongue-he didn’t want to cry out in pain. The time for that was decades ago…then he paused. Then why was Eren still the same? Levi dragged himself into the bathroom, clawing his way towards the large mirror there. He touched his face. Stubble, but it was grey, as was his hair. Silver and not a single streak of its once dark colour in sight. But his face was worse. Wrinkles marred his skin and mapped a bleak story around his dark eyes; they were as dark as ever, but more sunken and seemingly haunted with the heavy bags that drooped like weights.

This wasn’t him. It couldn’t be…

But he was staring right at himself. Then something strange happened. Something very strange. He felt something beneath his fingers. Slowly, he raised his hand-his shaking hand-and there it was. Cold, scarlet blood trailed down his hand. He yelled in shock, scrambling to the corner. Yet,  
when he lifted the other one, it was completely coated. Fresh blood. Endless streams poured from his fingertips.

“Eren?” he whispered, watching as the blood sploshed perpetually to the floor, through the floorboards, where it cascaded on the sofa they had been sitting on, in the same place Eren sat, blossoming as a permanent stain in the material.


End file.
